Dear Satan, [Marital Status: Single.]

Dear Satan,
Hello friend, I got your profile and decided to write you for an important and confidential issues. I am Ananevie Clifford from Lome Togo, once an accountant. I worked with Ecobank before i retired as a banker, before my retirement, i had a late client then who died in auto crash, till date know one has come as his next of kin and i have some vital information about the fund. Further details of the fund will be forwarded to you as soon as I receive your mail response with your phone number, address, date of birth Occupation/position and your marital status for further details explanations.
Yours Faithfully Mr. Ananevie Clifford‏

Dear Ananevie Clifford,
If your issues were really important and confidential, I don't know if sending them via e-mail is a great idea.
I know exactly which client you're referring to.
That human was a boring waste of space and I made it a point to end their bloodline so it wouldn't pollute the earth.
But I'm always interested in being the benefactor of a little windfall so I'll play along.
Phone Number: Country code +6 (666) 666-6669
I tried to get it so it was all sixes, but some other prick had it before me.
I had his head crushed in by a block of frozen human shit I arranged to have fall out of an airplane while he was out walking his chiweenie, but the cell phone company still won't let me have his old number.
There are downsides to being nigh omnipotent.
Primarily that I'm not omnipotent.
Address: Hell
Date Of Birth: I was created by the all powerful God at the same time that the universe was created.
Occupation/Position: Ruler of Hell, Corrupter of Man, Tormentor of All that defy the will of the Almighty God for all of eternity.
Marital Status: Single.
I await your further details explanations.